Saturday, April 15, 2017

"It's okay, can't complain"


            
                                                If you look closely enough, you'll find specs of gold deep within the sand.


           One aspect of my job is I do a lot of small talks with people everyday. Conversations certainly are a constant routine that everyone working in customer service must get accustomed to. Despite how much it sucks when it comes to pleasing people in a heavily customer-oriented industry, there are certain things that I love about communicating with random people at work. I got to know aspects of life that I never noticed before. When people told me their stories, they allowed me to be connected with them, empathize with them, and more importantly, learn from them.
There have been countless times when I asked people “How are you doing?” or “How’s your day?” as greetings. Usually people would put on a smile and replied they’re fine. That was great, I assumed they were doing fine as they said. But more memorable to me were the times when people who showed up to me totally looking strained and tired out, yet their response was always like this: “I’m doing okay, can’t complain”.
            You would hear and see from time to time on the media that America is the richest country on Earth, that life here is fulfilling, that coming to America is “living the American dream”. Yet, I saw with my own eyes how much the ordinary people here struggle. It’s no different than in any other countries. Many people here work not one or two, but three jobs. So you can imagine at the end of their workdays, they are pretty much zombies who can barely keep their eyes open or make sense in their speeches. I also learned that many people despite the crazy number of hours they work weekly end up living paycheck by paycheck (meaning they have nothing spare for savings) because their wages don’t keep up with the increase in rents and living expenses. For those, what they fear the most is ever getting sick or getting in an accident. They would be losing whatever they ever had for medical bills without a doubt. Moreover, I can’t even count how many times people told me they hated their jobs, where the hours are crazy, or their employers treat them like shit, or the nature of the job is draining, yet they showed up rain or shine because they all needed a job to get by. That’s not to mention the people I met who were supporting children, old parents, or were being sick. The hashtag #thestruggleisreal is absolutely created for them because, man, they encounter so much hardship I can’t even describe.
            Yet they always said “It’s okay, can’t complain”.
            At those moments I always felt reassured. You know why? Those people are in much tougher situations than I am, the hardship they are going through is much more traumatizing than mine, nonetheless they pull through. They don’t whine. They don’t blame anyone. They can make it out strong, so can I, someday.
            I came to learn from these ordinary people that endurance is a lifelong practice. It starts with acceptance of reality and ownership of your problems. You can’t pull through when you waste your energy on resentment for unfairness in life or blaming others for your shortcomings. You can’t get it together when you focus on challenges instead of solutions.
            Drawbacks in life shape who you are. Everytime you run into a tricky situation, you come out wiser. Everytime you fail, a new lesson learned. Don’t punish yourself because of your failures. Don’t think that you suck because you didn’t get it at the time. Mistakes are to learn from after all.
Endurance cannot be taught overnight either. You develop that thick skin after times and times being wounded. You hold on to be strong after several or even zillion times being broken down. You pick yourself up each time a little faster. You’re less likely to get bruised as badly the next time life throws a punch at you.
You’ve evolved.
Each of us can be an inspiration for others in one aspect or another. You never know what you may learn from connecting to people around you. For me, I appreciate random conversations with random working people who happen to be in touch with me at work. Surely there are wrongs and distortions in every mind, but more often than not, I found beautiful virtues in the most ordinary people that have deeply inspired me to thrive for the better.